this never-ending music [Baekhyun/Taeyeon]

[airplanewishes]

this never-ending music
EXO/SNSD | Baekhyun/Taeyeon | G | 559w
Angst
Baekhyun traces the notes on the music sheet, wondering how such simple notes can produce such melancholy sound.

Prompt from seoulfulness found here

this never-ending music

Baekhyun traces the notes on the music sheet on his lap, following through the straight lines, curves and dots. The page is filled with them and so he goes through each one, wondering how on earth simple notes can produce such melancholy sound, sounds that seem to echo exactly just how he feels.

He jumps as Chanyeol plops down on the empty space on the sofa beside him. Baekhyun curls his fingers towards his palm, pulling them away from the seemingly never-ending music of sadness. He turns to his best friend and flashes him a smile.

Chanyeol just sits there for a second, looking like he’s contemplating speaking up and saying something to him, before he actually decides to. He gently touches a hand on Baekhyun’s thigh, squeezing it comfortingly.

“She’s up next,” Chanyeol tells him giving him a smile that he thinks would be encouraging to Baekhyun. “Just thought you’d like to know.”

Baekhyun allows the smile on his face to fall when Chanyeol finally leaves, knowing that he would like to be alone. He always likes to be alone when he lets himself think about her, lets himself remember things he should’ve have known better to forget. His eyes fall back to the music sheet, fingers tracing the words on the top of the page this time.

Suddenly, he gets up and leaves the room. He weaves himself through the people backstage, knowing that this is wrong, that he should have stayed in the room, shouldn’t have permitted himself to give in to the longing. But, as he stands at the sidelines, taking her in with her glossy hair, black flowy dress, soft pink lips, and dark, expressive, glassy eyes, immersed into song, he forgives himself. He forgives himself because he would do anything to get even just a glimpse of her. It’s the only thing he can have of her now, the only thing he can keep to himself, the only thing he can tuck into his heart.

When she leaves the stage, rushing down the stairs to go back to reality and forget that just a moment ago she laid her heart bare onstage for the whole world to see, and judge, she stops in her tracks because he’s standing right there. He stands there, unmoving, merely looking. She averts her eyes, lashes wet with almost-tears, and walks away.

Baekhyun watches her leave until he can no longer see her. Then, very slowly, he releases the breath that he didn’t realize he’s been holding. He looks down at his hand, where he’s clutching at the music sheet, tracing the notes that were just on her lips moments before with his eyes. He stares at the sheet, the title of the music glaring at him. I Love You. His heart pounds loudly in his chest because those words always get to him, even more so when it’s sung, even more so when she sings it. Because they’re words that can never be anymore, words that are only embedded in their hearts, words that are merely hanging at the tips of their tongues.

One fingertip at a time, he releases the paper from his grasp. It slowly floats down to the floor, the notes and lines and curves bleeding towards each other in a hazy messy of tears.

Baekhyun closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.