airplanewishes (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
airplanewishes) wrote2012-01-06 06:04 pm
airplanewishes) wrote2012-01-06 06:04 pm
[PG-13] Wishing on Airplanes (28/28)
Title: Wishing on Airplanes
Characters: Donghae, Kyuhyun, Hyukjae, OC, Super Junior
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, Friendship, Comedy, Drama
Every breakup was different.
It usually depended on how much a person invested in a relationship and in their partner. There has to be a lot devoted in relationships for breakups to really hurt and to really end up in heartbreak.
And for someone who was confused about her feelings, Jooyeon was definitely hurting more than she expected to.
This breakup was certainly different from what she expected.
She and Kyuhyun hated each other right from the beginning. At least she hated him because of his arrogant attitude, how he thought he was better than everyone else, and how he seemed to just go through life without any care. But her first impression of him was wrong, just like how most first impressions was way off base.
Kyuhyun had become her closest friend among all the boys, after Hyukjae. He was constantly at her side and seemed to have been able to comfort her in ways that she had always wanted to be comforted. He was always by her side and never truly judged her, disregarding the snarky comments he always threw her way.
Somewhere along the way, in between fearing Jungsoo and yearning for Donghae’s affections, she somehow fell for Kyuhyun. It was the company, the handholding and the comfort she felt when she was with him that did it. What was more was that his affections for her were never obvious and were never for anyone else’s consumption. It was all just for her, and only her.
She stumbled out of the door of the Internet café, feeling her way through the sidewalk, rather than just walking on it. When she started going out with Kyuhyun after the kiss that they had shared, she had a lot of reservations because she wasn’t fully into it. She thought she was the only one who knew that, aside from Taeyeon and Tiffany. Apparently, Kyuhyun was in on the secret. She then wondered how long he’d known and wondered why he ever went through with it in the first place.
She really liked him a lot. But, she supposed, liking someone wasn’t enough. Especially not when one’s heart belonged to someone else.
Her sobbing increased when she realized how unfair she had been with him. It was almost as if she took advantage of his feelings for her just so she could forget her own for someone else.
She took a step forward and stumbled. She held her breath and braced herself for the impact of the fall.
But it never came.
Arms wrapped tightly around her, enveloping her in warmth, reassurance and concern. She was sat down on a bench, the arms and warmth never leaving her. Feeling comforted, she leaned against the affection and clung onto it.
The silence stretched in what seemed like an eternity, only her sobs breaking it once in a while in a staccato-type of beat.
“Please stop crying, Jooyeon,” Hyukjae said, bringing her closer to him if that was at all possible. She was clinging onto him with every ounce of strength that she had. It broke his heart, knowing that hers was broken, knowing that it was never going to be the same.
He and Siwon had just left his house to grab something to eat when his phone rang. Kyuhyun’s demanding voice came through the line, ordering him to go to a particular Internet café to see Jooyeon. Feeling annoyed, he declined his demand and ended the call. He almost snapped at his friend when the desperation in Kyuhyun’s voice reached his ears. And after hearing the vague explanation, he rushed to the Internet café, while Siwon went to get Taeyeon.
“Sshh,” Hyukjae soothingly told her, caressing her hair and gently rocking her.
After a while, Jooyeon stopped sobbing, only resorting to hiccupping ever few seconds. Slowly, she lifted herself off of Hyukjae and wiped her tears with her hands. Hyukjae handed her a handkerchief.
“What are you doing here, oppa?” Jooyeon finally asked, using his hanky to dry her face.
“Believe it or not, I sense it when a friend is in need,” Hyukjae answered with a straight face. When she shot him a look, he gave her a sheepish smile. “I happened to be walking by and saw you. Is everything okay?”
“He called you, didn’t he?” she asked, ignoring his explanations.
He guiltily chuckled. “He cares about you no matter what this is,” he gently stated, watching her reaction.
She neatly folded the handkerchief on her lap, taking her time. Afterwards, she just stared at it like it held the secrets of the universe. Finally, after a couple of seconds, she looked up and handed the hanky to him, a small appreciative smile on her face.
“I know he cares about me,” she acknowledged his statement. She sighed and looked up at the sky. “Maybe a little too much. Much more than I deserve. Definitely more than I do for him.”
“Don’t say that,” he countered, shaking his head. “You deserve everything that he’s given you and your relationship. And you weren’t being unfair, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
“But I was being unfair,” she insisted, turning in her seat to face him, tears starting to brim in her eyes once more.
“Jooyeon—,” he started to interrupt.
“I know myself more than all of you combined,” she interjected. “I was unfair to him. I should’ve never kissed him, should have never gotten into a relationship with him.”
“But you’ve fallen for him,” he reasoned. He wondered what was going through her head that she was fighting what he could see right on her face. “You stopped being unfair somewhere in between and that’s more than he could have ever asked from you. You’re crying now because you got hurt. Despite what you’re saying, you’re heartbroken.”
She shook her head. “You don’t understand,” she said, almost pleadingly. “I am crying because I’m hurt. Kyuhyun…I cared about him, more than I expected to. But…” She paused, biting her lip.
“But what, Joo?” he pressed, wanting so badly to understand what was going through her head. He wanted to be able to know how to help her.
“I’m crying because…he made me realize everything that I’ve been doing wrong,” she tried to explain. “I told you I was being unfair to him and you said I wasn’t. He told me the same thing.”
“That’s a good thing, right? It means there’s nothing to feel bad about,” he clarified.
“He told me I was being unfair to myself,” she relayed in almost a whisper. “And I realized I was being unfair to Donghae, as well.” She paused for a second, trying to stop her tears from falling. “Do you see now, oppa?” Bowing her head, she gripped her skirt. “Even with our breakup, it’s still Donghae I think about.” Her sob got choked in her throat as she tried to suppress it. “Now tell me, how is that being fair to Kyuhyun?”
~ * ~
Donghae suppressed a yawn as their English Literature teacher continued babbling about Shakespearean novels and plays on a Tuesday morning. He grabbed his pen and started doodling over his notes, not even bothering to pay attention to the lesson. He could care less about Shakespeare and where he lived and whom he fell in love with. None of those things mean anything to him.
He breathed deeply and glanced at the empty seat a couple of chairs away to the left side of the room. It was Jooyeon’s seat. She wasn’t in school that day, just like she wasn’t in school yesterday. When he’d asked Taeyeon about it, as casually as he could, the only answer he got from her was that she wasn’t feeling well. Now he couldn’t help but wonder what she was sick from.
He was just about to lean forward, deciding to sleep for the rest of the class, when he heard the girls seated beside him whispering about something. His ears perked up when he heard Jooyeon’s name.
“Is it true?” one of the girls asked in an excited whisper.
“It must be,” the other answered. “She’s still not in school, isn’t she? Probably crying. I’d cry too if that happened to me. And with Kyuhyun, too.”
“But why would he do that?” another asked, sounding puzzled. “They seemed to fit so well together.”
“Oh shut up,” the second girl replied. “If they fit so well together, why would he go around kissing and going out with other girls?”
The paper that Donghae had been doodling on was slowly looking like creased trash. Every time he remembered how Kyuhyun played with Jooyeon, it always got him angry. She didn’t deserve that.
“At least they’ve broken up,” the first girl stated nonchalantly. “It’s really better that way. Now, she can’t feel upset whenever he goes out with other girls because they’re no longer together. But did you hear about how he broke up with her?”
“Harsh, right?” the other responded, the smile on her face evident in her tone.
“What did you say?” Donghae asked, finally turning in his seat to face the girls.
The girls looked at him, stunned at being addressed by a kingka.
“Well?” Donghae pressed. “Did you say that Kyuhyun broke up with Jooyeon?”
~ * ~
Kyuhyun pored himself into his mathematics book and did everything he could to stop thinking about Jooyeon and how she was doing. He also wanted to be able to not think about what their friends might think of him. They all probably knew about what happened. He’d always thought he didn’t care about what anyone thought, but these people, his friends, they’d always seemed to accept him for everything that he was. He wondered if anything would change. He decided he’d rather not find out and just began avoiding them. If anything, he was surprised no one had come up to him and hit him yet.
“There you are.”
Kyuhyun froze and slowly looked up. The last person he talked to before the whole breaking-up-over-StarCraft thing was Heechul. He was the one who seemed to see right through him and his plans.
“Hyung,” Kyuhyun quietly greeted him before turning back to his math book.
Heechul slipped onto the seat across from his. He was quiet for a moment, just watching his friend avoid him. The moment Hyukjae called him about Jooyeon, he knew that Kyuhyun had done what he intended to do. It upset him that he had to resort to such, hurting her in the process, but he also knew that he was doing it for her. He was being selfless so he could make her happy.
“Look,” Heechul began. Kyuhyun looked up at him. “You should talk to her. She’s—.”
“No,” was Kyuhyun’s instant response. He shook his head definitively then returned his attention to his books.
“You can’t just do what you did without any explanations, Kyuhyun,” Heechul reasoned calmly. “And she deserves an explanation. You were her boyfriend.”
“Right,” Kyuhyun scoffed. “I’m still not going to talk to her. I already told her my reasons. She understands. There’s no need for us to elaborate further on that fact.”
“Everyone understands why you did what you did,” Heechul finally said after a short pause. The younger male looked at him once more, a bit surprised at this piece of information. “If anything, we admire you for being strong enough to do it. But we hoped you would’ve done it in a less colder way.”
“There’s no other way to do it. She wouldn’t have—.”
All of a sudden, Kyuhyun was on his feet, being practically choked by his collar as a hand tightly fisted around in.
Kyuhyun took one look at Donghae’s flashing hard eyes and immediately knew that he had found out about what had happened.
“How dare you,” Donghae practically growled in a dangerously low voice.
“Hae, let him go,” Heechul directed sternly, standing up.
Donghae ignored him, not caring whether people were starting to look and watch. Kyuhyun merely looked back at him, almost passive. This just made Donghae even angrier.
“You have some nerve to do what you did,” Donghae snarled, tightening his hold on his collar. “You’re a bastard.”
Kyuhyun sneered. “I’m the bastard? Then what do you call yourself?” He grabbed Donghae’s hand off of him and pushed him.
“She’s not in school because you broke up with her,” Donghae practically yelled, giving the other boy a push as well. “When you got together with her, I never said anything because I figured you would be able to take care of her.”
Taeyeon arrived in a rush, Siwon in tow. She looked from one boy to the other then glanced at Heechul.
“What’s going on?” she asked him, to which Heechul merely shrugged in amusement.
“Don’t talk about things you know nothing about,” Kyuhyun snapped at Donghae, clenching his fists tightly. “What happened in our relationship, whether I took care of her or not, is none of your business.”
“It’s my business when she gets hurt,” Donghae spat, grabbing the front of his shirt. “I don’t want her getting hurt.”
“Oh really, so when you left her with Jungsoo, that doesn’t constitute you hurting her?” Kyuhyun shot back furiously.
Kyuhyun had barely finished his sentence when Donghae’s fist connected with his jaw. The taller male stumbled back but immediately rushed forward to throw a punch on Donghae’s face. Donghae moved to return the punch when Siwon grabbed his arms, while Heechul stopped Kyuhyun.
“This is not going to solve anything,” Taeyeon calmly but worriedly told both of them. “And Jooyeon is fine,” she added, giving Donghae a pointed look.
“How can she be fine?” Donghae yelled, untangling one of his arms from Siwon’s grasp to point at Kyuhyun. “She’s in love with you! How can you break up with her and hurt her like that? You know how Jooyeon is. She never opens up to just anyone. But she opened up to you and you just… throw that all away.”
Donghae pushed Siwon off of him. Siwon let him go when he was sure he wasn’t going to charge at Kyuhyun once he does. Donghae ran a hand through his hair in frustration. He just hated the fact that Jooyeon was hurting. Without another word, he grabbed his bag and turned to go.
“You’re even stupider than I thought,” Kyuhyun called after him, putting a hand to his bleeding lip.
“What did you say?” Donghae asked, turning around, feeling the anger rise up in his chest once more.
“I’m not the one who hurt her, Donghae,” Kyuhyun told him straightforwardly, ignoring Heechul squeezing his arm tightly at this revelation. He figured he wanted Donghae to realize it for himself, but he knew that it would take Donghae centuries to do so and so he decided he was going to knock some sense into him himself.
Donghae’s eyes narrowed at him. “I’m not the one who broke up with her like she meant nothing to him.”
“And I’m not the one who keeps making her feel like she means nothing,” Kyuhyun retorted. “That’s all you, Donghae. All you.”
“You better take that back,” Donghae snapped, throwing his bag to the floor and grabbing the front of Kyuhyun’s shirt.
Taeyeon took a step forward to stop them, but Siwon held her back. Heechul, meanwhile, rubbed his forehead in annoyance at having to stop them from fighting all over again.
“You know the truth,” Kyuhyun maintained, his voice low. “Everyone knows the truth.”
Donghae let Kyuhyun go. He could only go so far in being defensive about his relationship with Jooyeon. Everyone knew that they never spoke anymore. Everyone knew how they weren’t even friends at all. He clenched and unclenched his fists, glaring at Kyuhyun, who spoke of the truth.
“You better do something to make things right, Kyuhyun,” Donghae demanded of him. “You better make sure she stops crying.”
“I can’t do that,” Kyuhyun said at once as the other male moved to leave.
“You’re really testing my patience,” Donghae snapped.
“I can’t do what you’re asking because she’d rather have you do it,” Kyuhyun clarified as calmly as he could, although his fists were clenched on his sides. He hated himself at that moment. He hated that he had to do this and say such things out loud.
“What?” Donghae asked faintly, surprised. He glanced at Heechul then at Taeyeon. Both merely looked back at him with a straight face.
Kyuhyun stared at his friend in the eye. “She doesn’t want me,” he explained. “She’s never wanted me. It’s always been you.”
“I…I don’t understand,” Donghae stammered, shifting uncomfortably in his stance.
“Don’t make me repeat it,” Kyuhyun said, moving to walk towards Donghae to leave. When they were side by side, he told him, “You better start fighting for her now. God knows she’s waited long enough.” Without another word, he grabbed his things and walked away.
~ * ~
“How did you know that Siwon was the one?”
Taeyeon stopped what she was doing, which was putting the wrapped food that she had made into a basket. She exchanged a look with Tiffany, who didn’t say anything.
“I don’t know that he’s the one,” Taeyeon answered simply. “I mean I’m in love with him, that much I’m sure of. But who knows what the future will bring?”
“But, I mean, when you started dating,” Jooyeon clarified her question. “Why did you decide to go out with him and not Kangin oppa?”
Taeyeon’s eyes shot towards her best friend, unable to say anything. She turned to Tiffany, whose eyes flicked up to her, a shocked expression on her face.
“Kangin asked you out?” Tiffany blurted out. She never asked about Kangin’s ex-girlfriends because she felt like it didn’t really matter. But it never occurred to her that Taeyeon would be one of those girls in his past.
“I…it was a long time ago,” Taeyeon stammered. She turned towards Jooyeon. “How did you even know about that?”
“He told me because Heechul oppa brought it up,” Jooyeon shared. She then turned to Tiffany as well. “It really was a long time ago.”
Tiffany was quiet for a second. “Would you ever have told me?” she wanted to know, looking at her friends.
“Honestly, no,” Taeyeon admitted, while Jooyeon shook her head as well. “It’s not that important. He asked me out, I turned him down and that was it. He barely pursued me. Plus, I went out with Siwon shortly after. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”
“I’m sorry I ever brought it up,” Jooyeon stated guiltily. She sighed and leaned back on her chair, staring at the countertop.
Jooyeon just sat there for a while, not saying anything, not even bothering to help out with the packing of food for their picnic. In all honesty, she didn’t want to join the picnic because she knew Kyuhyun nor Donghae were going to be there. But, even if they were going to be there, she also didn’t want to go. She wasn’t sure how she was going to handle being around them.
Kyuhyun had stopped talking to her. She was starting to suspect that he changed his phone number and had forbid all their friends to give it to her. They barely saw each other in school, much less anywhere else. Donghae, meanwhile—well she hardly saw much of him in the first place—so she didn’t bother thinking about that further. But she wondered if he knew what had happened.
“Why were you asking about me and Siwon?” Taeyeon inquired, breaking the silence.
She and Tiffany were sitting across from her, seemingly done with all the food packing they were busy with earlier.
Jooyeon shrugged. “I’m just curious,” she timidly answered.
“This is about Donghae and Kyuhyun, isn’t it?” Tiffany pressed.
Jooyeon shook her head. But before Tiffany and Taeyeon can contest, she responded. “No, this is about Donghae,” she clarified. “I’m just wondering if I was stupid enough to think that he has feelings for me, too.”
Taeyeon and Tiffany exchanged a surprised look. It was pretty much the first time they had heard Jooyeon loudly admit that she wanted Donghae to return her feelings.
“Why don’t you just talk to him?” Taeyeon suggested.
“I tried that,” Jooyeon reminded her. “He just pushed me away. I’m not going to put myself through that rejection again.”
“What if Kyuhyun hadn’t broken up with you?” Tiffany then asked. “What would you have done? Would you have stayed with him?”
“Of course she wouldn’t,” Taeyeon interjected for her best friend. “Not when she’s in love with someone else.”
“But would that have been so bad?” Jooyeon inquired. Taeyeon and Tiffany looked at her in surprise. “Kyuhyun’s been an incredible boyfriend in the time we’ve been together. Like what I’ve said before, he wasn’t hard to love.” She sighed. “Sometimes…sometimes I wish I had fallen for him instead.”
“But you didn’t,” Taeyeon gently countered. “And staying with him in that condition would’ve been unfair for both of you. It would’ve been like you were sett—.”
“Settling?” Jooyeon interrupted her. “It wouldn’t really be like that since I like Kyuhyun a lot.”
“But it is,” Tiffany reiterated. “Because you know you could have that person you really want to be with. You can have Donghae.”
Jooyeon gave them a sad smile. “Well, we don’t know that.”
“Just…give it a try, Joo,” Taeyeon persisted. “All your life, you’ve been doing things that are less than what you deserve and you’ve never been truly happy. This is a chance for you to stop that vicious cycle. It’s time for you to stop…”
“…wishing on airplanes,” Jooyeon finished quietly.
~ * ~
Jooyeon looked around Hyukjae’s house, thinking about how it had been quite a while since she had been there. With all the times she had begun avoiding them, she barely went to any of their houses anymore.
“I’ll be right back,” Hyukjae told her. “I’ll just go get something in my room.”
“Oppa, do you mind if I go up to the tree house?” Jooyeon asked, a bit shyly.
Hyukjae gave her an unreadable look for a second then smiled his gummy smile. “Sure,” he gave his permission. He then ran up the stairs to his room.
The tree house hadn’t changed. The things that were there on her first visit, the small bed, mini refrigerator (newly stacked with strawberry milk and food), and the small television with DVD player and PS3, which turned on and paused, were all still there. She moved around the place, as if she was there for the first time.
As she moved to sit on the bed, she suddenly noticed something that wasn’t there before. Leaning towards the bedside table, she picked up a photo frame.
She remembered that day. It was Heechul’s birthday celebration at the beach. They had just finished their dance when Siwon had suddenly come up to them and took their photo. She had never seen it before and had forgotten all about it.
Donghae, handsome in his dark suit, had his arm around her bare shoulders as she was wearing the white dress that Kyuhyun had bought for her. She was leaning her head slightly towards him, their smiles brighter than the sun.
“Yah, Hyukjae!” Donghae’s voice suddenly sounded very near the tree house. “If you messed with my game, I’m going to kill you.”
Jooyeon practically dropped the photo frame on the bedside table and stood up, looking for a place where she could hide. She was about to open the cabinet door and step in when Donghae suddenly walked in, almost hitting his head on the door panel at the sight of her.
“Hi,” Jooyeon said uncertainly, not knowing what else to say.
“I…hi,” Donghae stammered. “What—are you doing here?”
“I was…um, were you playing?” she asked, changing the subject and gesturing to the paused game.
“Yeah,” he confirmed, taking a seat on the floor beside the bed and picked up the controller. He paused for a second then looked up at her still awkwardly standing by the cabinet. “Do you want to play?”
“Oh I’m not really good at playing games,” she declined. “I wouldn’t want to mess up your game,” she added, reminding him of what he yelled to Hyukjae earlier.
“I don’t mind,” he told her. He patted the space beside him, making her sit down.
“So what do I do?” she asked as she sat down beside him, picking up the controller.
Soon, they were playing and enjoying each other’s company. In the few minutes that they had started talking again, they unknowingly slipped back in the comfort that they felt when they were with each other. They had gone back to teasing and laughing with each other. Their backs were leaning on the bed, their shoulders and knees touching.
After an hour or so of playing and laughing so hard, Jooyeon gave up because she lost every round. Still laughing at her recent defeat, she unconsciously leaned her head on his shoulder. Such action caused Donghae to stop laughing almost immediately, suddenly conscious about their close proximity to each other.
“Jooyeon,” Donghae began, quietly clearing his throat.
“Hmm,” Jooyeon responded, laughter still evident in her tone.
“I’m sorry,” he confessed.
She lifted her head, startled at this sudden declaration. “About what?” she seriously asked.
“About a lot of things, actually,” he answered, rubbing the back of his neck, looking contrite. “I guess I should start with Heechul hyung’s party and—.”
“Let’s not talk about that,” she interrupted him, not wanting to remember what had happened that evening.
Quietly, Jooyeon stood up and walked over to the window and lightly leaned against the edge. The sun had practically set, the dark blue of the sky slowly settling in. Donghae just watched her for a while then stood up to join her in the window ledge.
Silence settled in between them, both just looking out into the sky, thinking back on everything that they had gone through.
Jooyeon turned towards him, a smile on her face. “Do you remember the first day we met? You and Hyukjae oppa were showing off your non-existent muscles. And do you remember how you guys walked me home but Hyukjae oppa had to go back because he had detention?” She chuckled.
Donghae let out a sigh, despite smiling. “I remember that everyday,” he honestly told her. He slowly turned around and faced her, his side leaning against the window’s ledge. “And, everyday, despite everything that I’ve done, I’m always thankful that we’ve met.”
“You don’t have to be sorry for anything,” she assured him, shaking her head. “I share half of the blame for everything that’s happened between us. I never drew the lines of our relationship clear enough, which is something I feel stupid about everyday—.”
“What lines?” he questioned. She gave him a surprised look. “I just…you mentioned lines, what exactly do you mean?”
“I…oppa,” she hesitated, a pink tinge appearing on her cheeks.
“Is this what you mean?” he asked.
Before Jooyeon could answer, Donghae had taken a step towards her and pressed his lips on her own.
It took her a couple of seconds to comprehend what was happening. After such precious seconds, she leaned onto him and gradually kissed him back. His hand found hers and entangled them together, squeezing gently for reassurance.
When they pulled away, Jooyeon’s eyes were wet with unshed tears. The kiss answered everything that she had asked herself every single day that Donghae had stopped talking to her. It silenced every single doubt and fear that swirled in her head. In the end, it didn’t matter whether she waited forever to know the answer. It was all worth it.
Donghae lifted a hand to catch the tear that was about to fall on her cheek. “I’m sorry for all the times I never fought for you, never told you how I honestly felt, never showed you,” he whispered, leaning his forehead against her and closing his eyes. “I wish I could’ve been there for you.”
“This kind of makes up for all those times,” she assured him.
He pulled her into a hug. She leaned her head against his chest, facing the window as she did so. Kissing her head, he followed her line of sight.
A shooting star flew by.
He chuckled back. “Hey,” he then went on, “why…?” It was a bit odd, even for him, to be wishing on airplanes.
“We should make do with what we have,” she explained with a shrug. “Shooting stars aren’t easy to come by. And even when they do, we don’t always catch them.”
Jooyeon closed her eyes, snuggling even closer to Donghae.
She silently thanked Taeyeon, Tiffany and Kyuhyun for knocking some sense into her. They were right, as painful and as shameful as it was to admit. She had been settling all her life and was about to do so when she got together with Kyuhyun.
No more settling for her. No more wishing on airplanes.
Characters: Donghae, Kyuhyun, Hyukjae, OC, Super Junior
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, Friendship, Comedy, Drama
Every breakup was different.
It usually depended on how much a person invested in a relationship and in their partner. There has to be a lot devoted in relationships for breakups to really hurt and to really end up in heartbreak.
And for someone who was confused about her feelings, Jooyeon was definitely hurting more than she expected to.
This breakup was certainly different from what she expected.
She and Kyuhyun hated each other right from the beginning. At least she hated him because of his arrogant attitude, how he thought he was better than everyone else, and how he seemed to just go through life without any care. But her first impression of him was wrong, just like how most first impressions was way off base.
Kyuhyun had become her closest friend among all the boys, after Hyukjae. He was constantly at her side and seemed to have been able to comfort her in ways that she had always wanted to be comforted. He was always by her side and never truly judged her, disregarding the snarky comments he always threw her way.
Somewhere along the way, in between fearing Jungsoo and yearning for Donghae’s affections, she somehow fell for Kyuhyun. It was the company, the handholding and the comfort she felt when she was with him that did it. What was more was that his affections for her were never obvious and were never for anyone else’s consumption. It was all just for her, and only her.
She stumbled out of the door of the Internet café, feeling her way through the sidewalk, rather than just walking on it. When she started going out with Kyuhyun after the kiss that they had shared, she had a lot of reservations because she wasn’t fully into it. She thought she was the only one who knew that, aside from Taeyeon and Tiffany. Apparently, Kyuhyun was in on the secret. She then wondered how long he’d known and wondered why he ever went through with it in the first place.
She really liked him a lot. But, she supposed, liking someone wasn’t enough. Especially not when one’s heart belonged to someone else.
Her sobbing increased when she realized how unfair she had been with him. It was almost as if she took advantage of his feelings for her just so she could forget her own for someone else.
She took a step forward and stumbled. She held her breath and braced herself for the impact of the fall.
But it never came.
Arms wrapped tightly around her, enveloping her in warmth, reassurance and concern. She was sat down on a bench, the arms and warmth never leaving her. Feeling comforted, she leaned against the affection and clung onto it.
The silence stretched in what seemed like an eternity, only her sobs breaking it once in a while in a staccato-type of beat.
“Please stop crying, Jooyeon,” Hyukjae said, bringing her closer to him if that was at all possible. She was clinging onto him with every ounce of strength that she had. It broke his heart, knowing that hers was broken, knowing that it was never going to be the same.
He and Siwon had just left his house to grab something to eat when his phone rang. Kyuhyun’s demanding voice came through the line, ordering him to go to a particular Internet café to see Jooyeon. Feeling annoyed, he declined his demand and ended the call. He almost snapped at his friend when the desperation in Kyuhyun’s voice reached his ears. And after hearing the vague explanation, he rushed to the Internet café, while Siwon went to get Taeyeon.
“Sshh,” Hyukjae soothingly told her, caressing her hair and gently rocking her.
After a while, Jooyeon stopped sobbing, only resorting to hiccupping ever few seconds. Slowly, she lifted herself off of Hyukjae and wiped her tears with her hands. Hyukjae handed her a handkerchief.
“What are you doing here, oppa?” Jooyeon finally asked, using his hanky to dry her face.
“Believe it or not, I sense it when a friend is in need,” Hyukjae answered with a straight face. When she shot him a look, he gave her a sheepish smile. “I happened to be walking by and saw you. Is everything okay?”
“He called you, didn’t he?” she asked, ignoring his explanations.
He guiltily chuckled. “He cares about you no matter what this is,” he gently stated, watching her reaction.
She neatly folded the handkerchief on her lap, taking her time. Afterwards, she just stared at it like it held the secrets of the universe. Finally, after a couple of seconds, she looked up and handed the hanky to him, a small appreciative smile on her face.
“I know he cares about me,” she acknowledged his statement. She sighed and looked up at the sky. “Maybe a little too much. Much more than I deserve. Definitely more than I do for him.”
“Don’t say that,” he countered, shaking his head. “You deserve everything that he’s given you and your relationship. And you weren’t being unfair, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
“But I was being unfair,” she insisted, turning in her seat to face him, tears starting to brim in her eyes once more.
“Jooyeon—,” he started to interrupt.
“I know myself more than all of you combined,” she interjected. “I was unfair to him. I should’ve never kissed him, should have never gotten into a relationship with him.”
“But you’ve fallen for him,” he reasoned. He wondered what was going through her head that she was fighting what he could see right on her face. “You stopped being unfair somewhere in between and that’s more than he could have ever asked from you. You’re crying now because you got hurt. Despite what you’re saying, you’re heartbroken.”
She shook her head. “You don’t understand,” she said, almost pleadingly. “I am crying because I’m hurt. Kyuhyun…I cared about him, more than I expected to. But…” She paused, biting her lip.
“But what, Joo?” he pressed, wanting so badly to understand what was going through her head. He wanted to be able to know how to help her.
“I’m crying because…he made me realize everything that I’ve been doing wrong,” she tried to explain. “I told you I was being unfair to him and you said I wasn’t. He told me the same thing.”
“That’s a good thing, right? It means there’s nothing to feel bad about,” he clarified.
“He told me I was being unfair to myself,” she relayed in almost a whisper. “And I realized I was being unfair to Donghae, as well.” She paused for a second, trying to stop her tears from falling. “Do you see now, oppa?” Bowing her head, she gripped her skirt. “Even with our breakup, it’s still Donghae I think about.” Her sob got choked in her throat as she tried to suppress it. “Now tell me, how is that being fair to Kyuhyun?”
~ * ~
Donghae suppressed a yawn as their English Literature teacher continued babbling about Shakespearean novels and plays on a Tuesday morning. He grabbed his pen and started doodling over his notes, not even bothering to pay attention to the lesson. He could care less about Shakespeare and where he lived and whom he fell in love with. None of those things mean anything to him.
He breathed deeply and glanced at the empty seat a couple of chairs away to the left side of the room. It was Jooyeon’s seat. She wasn’t in school that day, just like she wasn’t in school yesterday. When he’d asked Taeyeon about it, as casually as he could, the only answer he got from her was that she wasn’t feeling well. Now he couldn’t help but wonder what she was sick from.
He was just about to lean forward, deciding to sleep for the rest of the class, when he heard the girls seated beside him whispering about something. His ears perked up when he heard Jooyeon’s name.
“Is it true?” one of the girls asked in an excited whisper.
“It must be,” the other answered. “She’s still not in school, isn’t she? Probably crying. I’d cry too if that happened to me. And with Kyuhyun, too.”
“But why would he do that?” another asked, sounding puzzled. “They seemed to fit so well together.”
“Oh shut up,” the second girl replied. “If they fit so well together, why would he go around kissing and going out with other girls?”
The paper that Donghae had been doodling on was slowly looking like creased trash. Every time he remembered how Kyuhyun played with Jooyeon, it always got him angry. She didn’t deserve that.
“At least they’ve broken up,” the first girl stated nonchalantly. “It’s really better that way. Now, she can’t feel upset whenever he goes out with other girls because they’re no longer together. But did you hear about how he broke up with her?”
“Harsh, right?” the other responded, the smile on her face evident in her tone.
“What did you say?” Donghae asked, finally turning in his seat to face the girls.
The girls looked at him, stunned at being addressed by a kingka.
“Well?” Donghae pressed. “Did you say that Kyuhyun broke up with Jooyeon?”
~ * ~
Kyuhyun pored himself into his mathematics book and did everything he could to stop thinking about Jooyeon and how she was doing. He also wanted to be able to not think about what their friends might think of him. They all probably knew about what happened. He’d always thought he didn’t care about what anyone thought, but these people, his friends, they’d always seemed to accept him for everything that he was. He wondered if anything would change. He decided he’d rather not find out and just began avoiding them. If anything, he was surprised no one had come up to him and hit him yet.
“There you are.”
Kyuhyun froze and slowly looked up. The last person he talked to before the whole breaking-up-over-StarCraft thing was Heechul. He was the one who seemed to see right through him and his plans.
“Hyung,” Kyuhyun quietly greeted him before turning back to his math book.
Heechul slipped onto the seat across from his. He was quiet for a moment, just watching his friend avoid him. The moment Hyukjae called him about Jooyeon, he knew that Kyuhyun had done what he intended to do. It upset him that he had to resort to such, hurting her in the process, but he also knew that he was doing it for her. He was being selfless so he could make her happy.
“Look,” Heechul began. Kyuhyun looked up at him. “You should talk to her. She’s—.”
“No,” was Kyuhyun’s instant response. He shook his head definitively then returned his attention to his books.
“You can’t just do what you did without any explanations, Kyuhyun,” Heechul reasoned calmly. “And she deserves an explanation. You were her boyfriend.”
“Right,” Kyuhyun scoffed. “I’m still not going to talk to her. I already told her my reasons. She understands. There’s no need for us to elaborate further on that fact.”
“Everyone understands why you did what you did,” Heechul finally said after a short pause. The younger male looked at him once more, a bit surprised at this piece of information. “If anything, we admire you for being strong enough to do it. But we hoped you would’ve done it in a less colder way.”
“There’s no other way to do it. She wouldn’t have—.”
All of a sudden, Kyuhyun was on his feet, being practically choked by his collar as a hand tightly fisted around in.
Kyuhyun took one look at Donghae’s flashing hard eyes and immediately knew that he had found out about what had happened.
“How dare you,” Donghae practically growled in a dangerously low voice.
“Hae, let him go,” Heechul directed sternly, standing up.
Donghae ignored him, not caring whether people were starting to look and watch. Kyuhyun merely looked back at him, almost passive. This just made Donghae even angrier.
“You have some nerve to do what you did,” Donghae snarled, tightening his hold on his collar. “You’re a bastard.”
Kyuhyun sneered. “I’m the bastard? Then what do you call yourself?” He grabbed Donghae’s hand off of him and pushed him.
“She’s not in school because you broke up with her,” Donghae practically yelled, giving the other boy a push as well. “When you got together with her, I never said anything because I figured you would be able to take care of her.”
Taeyeon arrived in a rush, Siwon in tow. She looked from one boy to the other then glanced at Heechul.
“What’s going on?” she asked him, to which Heechul merely shrugged in amusement.
“Don’t talk about things you know nothing about,” Kyuhyun snapped at Donghae, clenching his fists tightly. “What happened in our relationship, whether I took care of her or not, is none of your business.”
“It’s my business when she gets hurt,” Donghae spat, grabbing the front of his shirt. “I don’t want her getting hurt.”
“Oh really, so when you left her with Jungsoo, that doesn’t constitute you hurting her?” Kyuhyun shot back furiously.
Kyuhyun had barely finished his sentence when Donghae’s fist connected with his jaw. The taller male stumbled back but immediately rushed forward to throw a punch on Donghae’s face. Donghae moved to return the punch when Siwon grabbed his arms, while Heechul stopped Kyuhyun.
“This is not going to solve anything,” Taeyeon calmly but worriedly told both of them. “And Jooyeon is fine,” she added, giving Donghae a pointed look.
“How can she be fine?” Donghae yelled, untangling one of his arms from Siwon’s grasp to point at Kyuhyun. “She’s in love with you! How can you break up with her and hurt her like that? You know how Jooyeon is. She never opens up to just anyone. But she opened up to you and you just… throw that all away.”
Donghae pushed Siwon off of him. Siwon let him go when he was sure he wasn’t going to charge at Kyuhyun once he does. Donghae ran a hand through his hair in frustration. He just hated the fact that Jooyeon was hurting. Without another word, he grabbed his bag and turned to go.
“You’re even stupider than I thought,” Kyuhyun called after him, putting a hand to his bleeding lip.
“What did you say?” Donghae asked, turning around, feeling the anger rise up in his chest once more.
“I’m not the one who hurt her, Donghae,” Kyuhyun told him straightforwardly, ignoring Heechul squeezing his arm tightly at this revelation. He figured he wanted Donghae to realize it for himself, but he knew that it would take Donghae centuries to do so and so he decided he was going to knock some sense into him himself.
Donghae’s eyes narrowed at him. “I’m not the one who broke up with her like she meant nothing to him.”
“And I’m not the one who keeps making her feel like she means nothing,” Kyuhyun retorted. “That’s all you, Donghae. All you.”
“You better take that back,” Donghae snapped, throwing his bag to the floor and grabbing the front of Kyuhyun’s shirt.
Taeyeon took a step forward to stop them, but Siwon held her back. Heechul, meanwhile, rubbed his forehead in annoyance at having to stop them from fighting all over again.
“You know the truth,” Kyuhyun maintained, his voice low. “Everyone knows the truth.”
Donghae let Kyuhyun go. He could only go so far in being defensive about his relationship with Jooyeon. Everyone knew that they never spoke anymore. Everyone knew how they weren’t even friends at all. He clenched and unclenched his fists, glaring at Kyuhyun, who spoke of the truth.
“You better do something to make things right, Kyuhyun,” Donghae demanded of him. “You better make sure she stops crying.”
“I can’t do that,” Kyuhyun said at once as the other male moved to leave.
“You’re really testing my patience,” Donghae snapped.
“I can’t do what you’re asking because she’d rather have you do it,” Kyuhyun clarified as calmly as he could, although his fists were clenched on his sides. He hated himself at that moment. He hated that he had to do this and say such things out loud.
“What?” Donghae asked faintly, surprised. He glanced at Heechul then at Taeyeon. Both merely looked back at him with a straight face.
Kyuhyun stared at his friend in the eye. “She doesn’t want me,” he explained. “She’s never wanted me. It’s always been you.”
“I…I don’t understand,” Donghae stammered, shifting uncomfortably in his stance.
“Don’t make me repeat it,” Kyuhyun said, moving to walk towards Donghae to leave. When they were side by side, he told him, “You better start fighting for her now. God knows she’s waited long enough.” Without another word, he grabbed his things and walked away.
~ * ~
“How did you know that Siwon was the one?”
Taeyeon stopped what she was doing, which was putting the wrapped food that she had made into a basket. She exchanged a look with Tiffany, who didn’t say anything.
“I don’t know that he’s the one,” Taeyeon answered simply. “I mean I’m in love with him, that much I’m sure of. But who knows what the future will bring?”
“But, I mean, when you started dating,” Jooyeon clarified her question. “Why did you decide to go out with him and not Kangin oppa?”
Taeyeon’s eyes shot towards her best friend, unable to say anything. She turned to Tiffany, whose eyes flicked up to her, a shocked expression on her face.
“Kangin asked you out?” Tiffany blurted out. She never asked about Kangin’s ex-girlfriends because she felt like it didn’t really matter. But it never occurred to her that Taeyeon would be one of those girls in his past.
“I…it was a long time ago,” Taeyeon stammered. She turned towards Jooyeon. “How did you even know about that?”
“He told me because Heechul oppa brought it up,” Jooyeon shared. She then turned to Tiffany as well. “It really was a long time ago.”
Tiffany was quiet for a second. “Would you ever have told me?” she wanted to know, looking at her friends.
“Honestly, no,” Taeyeon admitted, while Jooyeon shook her head as well. “It’s not that important. He asked me out, I turned him down and that was it. He barely pursued me. Plus, I went out with Siwon shortly after. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”
“I’m sorry I ever brought it up,” Jooyeon stated guiltily. She sighed and leaned back on her chair, staring at the countertop.
Jooyeon just sat there for a while, not saying anything, not even bothering to help out with the packing of food for their picnic. In all honesty, she didn’t want to join the picnic because she knew Kyuhyun nor Donghae were going to be there. But, even if they were going to be there, she also didn’t want to go. She wasn’t sure how she was going to handle being around them.
Kyuhyun had stopped talking to her. She was starting to suspect that he changed his phone number and had forbid all their friends to give it to her. They barely saw each other in school, much less anywhere else. Donghae, meanwhile—well she hardly saw much of him in the first place—so she didn’t bother thinking about that further. But she wondered if he knew what had happened.
“Why were you asking about me and Siwon?” Taeyeon inquired, breaking the silence.
She and Tiffany were sitting across from her, seemingly done with all the food packing they were busy with earlier.
Jooyeon shrugged. “I’m just curious,” she timidly answered.
“This is about Donghae and Kyuhyun, isn’t it?” Tiffany pressed.
Jooyeon shook her head. But before Tiffany and Taeyeon can contest, she responded. “No, this is about Donghae,” she clarified. “I’m just wondering if I was stupid enough to think that he has feelings for me, too.”
Taeyeon and Tiffany exchanged a surprised look. It was pretty much the first time they had heard Jooyeon loudly admit that she wanted Donghae to return her feelings.
“Why don’t you just talk to him?” Taeyeon suggested.
“I tried that,” Jooyeon reminded her. “He just pushed me away. I’m not going to put myself through that rejection again.”
“What if Kyuhyun hadn’t broken up with you?” Tiffany then asked. “What would you have done? Would you have stayed with him?”
“Of course she wouldn’t,” Taeyeon interjected for her best friend. “Not when she’s in love with someone else.”
“But would that have been so bad?” Jooyeon inquired. Taeyeon and Tiffany looked at her in surprise. “Kyuhyun’s been an incredible boyfriend in the time we’ve been together. Like what I’ve said before, he wasn’t hard to love.” She sighed. “Sometimes…sometimes I wish I had fallen for him instead.”
“But you didn’t,” Taeyeon gently countered. “And staying with him in that condition would’ve been unfair for both of you. It would’ve been like you were sett—.”
“Settling?” Jooyeon interrupted her. “It wouldn’t really be like that since I like Kyuhyun a lot.”
“But it is,” Tiffany reiterated. “Because you know you could have that person you really want to be with. You can have Donghae.”
Jooyeon gave them a sad smile. “Well, we don’t know that.”
“Just…give it a try, Joo,” Taeyeon persisted. “All your life, you’ve been doing things that are less than what you deserve and you’ve never been truly happy. This is a chance for you to stop that vicious cycle. It’s time for you to stop…”
“…wishing on airplanes,” Jooyeon finished quietly.
~ * ~
Jooyeon looked around Hyukjae’s house, thinking about how it had been quite a while since she had been there. With all the times she had begun avoiding them, she barely went to any of their houses anymore.
“I’ll be right back,” Hyukjae told her. “I’ll just go get something in my room.”
“Oppa, do you mind if I go up to the tree house?” Jooyeon asked, a bit shyly.
Hyukjae gave her an unreadable look for a second then smiled his gummy smile. “Sure,” he gave his permission. He then ran up the stairs to his room.
The tree house hadn’t changed. The things that were there on her first visit, the small bed, mini refrigerator (newly stacked with strawberry milk and food), and the small television with DVD player and PS3, which turned on and paused, were all still there. She moved around the place, as if she was there for the first time.
As she moved to sit on the bed, she suddenly noticed something that wasn’t there before. Leaning towards the bedside table, she picked up a photo frame.
She remembered that day. It was Heechul’s birthday celebration at the beach. They had just finished their dance when Siwon had suddenly come up to them and took their photo. She had never seen it before and had forgotten all about it.
Donghae, handsome in his dark suit, had his arm around her bare shoulders as she was wearing the white dress that Kyuhyun had bought for her. She was leaning her head slightly towards him, their smiles brighter than the sun.
“Yah, Hyukjae!” Donghae’s voice suddenly sounded very near the tree house. “If you messed with my game, I’m going to kill you.”
Jooyeon practically dropped the photo frame on the bedside table and stood up, looking for a place where she could hide. She was about to open the cabinet door and step in when Donghae suddenly walked in, almost hitting his head on the door panel at the sight of her.
“Hi,” Jooyeon said uncertainly, not knowing what else to say.
“I…hi,” Donghae stammered. “What—are you doing here?”
“I was…um, were you playing?” she asked, changing the subject and gesturing to the paused game.
“Yeah,” he confirmed, taking a seat on the floor beside the bed and picked up the controller. He paused for a second then looked up at her still awkwardly standing by the cabinet. “Do you want to play?”
“Oh I’m not really good at playing games,” she declined. “I wouldn’t want to mess up your game,” she added, reminding him of what he yelled to Hyukjae earlier.
“I don’t mind,” he told her. He patted the space beside him, making her sit down.
“So what do I do?” she asked as she sat down beside him, picking up the controller.
Soon, they were playing and enjoying each other’s company. In the few minutes that they had started talking again, they unknowingly slipped back in the comfort that they felt when they were with each other. They had gone back to teasing and laughing with each other. Their backs were leaning on the bed, their shoulders and knees touching.
After an hour or so of playing and laughing so hard, Jooyeon gave up because she lost every round. Still laughing at her recent defeat, she unconsciously leaned her head on his shoulder. Such action caused Donghae to stop laughing almost immediately, suddenly conscious about their close proximity to each other.
“Jooyeon,” Donghae began, quietly clearing his throat.
“Hmm,” Jooyeon responded, laughter still evident in her tone.
“I’m sorry,” he confessed.
She lifted her head, startled at this sudden declaration. “About what?” she seriously asked.
“About a lot of things, actually,” he answered, rubbing the back of his neck, looking contrite. “I guess I should start with Heechul hyung’s party and—.”
“Let’s not talk about that,” she interrupted him, not wanting to remember what had happened that evening.
Quietly, Jooyeon stood up and walked over to the window and lightly leaned against the edge. The sun had practically set, the dark blue of the sky slowly settling in. Donghae just watched her for a while then stood up to join her in the window ledge.
Silence settled in between them, both just looking out into the sky, thinking back on everything that they had gone through.
Jooyeon turned towards him, a smile on her face. “Do you remember the first day we met? You and Hyukjae oppa were showing off your non-existent muscles. And do you remember how you guys walked me home but Hyukjae oppa had to go back because he had detention?” She chuckled.
Donghae let out a sigh, despite smiling. “I remember that everyday,” he honestly told her. He slowly turned around and faced her, his side leaning against the window’s ledge. “And, everyday, despite everything that I’ve done, I’m always thankful that we’ve met.”
“You don’t have to be sorry for anything,” she assured him, shaking her head. “I share half of the blame for everything that’s happened between us. I never drew the lines of our relationship clear enough, which is something I feel stupid about everyday—.”
“What lines?” he questioned. She gave him a surprised look. “I just…you mentioned lines, what exactly do you mean?”
“I…oppa,” she hesitated, a pink tinge appearing on her cheeks.
“Is this what you mean?” he asked.
Before Jooyeon could answer, Donghae had taken a step towards her and pressed his lips on her own.
It took her a couple of seconds to comprehend what was happening. After such precious seconds, she leaned onto him and gradually kissed him back. His hand found hers and entangled them together, squeezing gently for reassurance.
When they pulled away, Jooyeon’s eyes were wet with unshed tears. The kiss answered everything that she had asked herself every single day that Donghae had stopped talking to her. It silenced every single doubt and fear that swirled in her head. In the end, it didn’t matter whether she waited forever to know the answer. It was all worth it.
Donghae lifted a hand to catch the tear that was about to fall on her cheek. “I’m sorry for all the times I never fought for you, never told you how I honestly felt, never showed you,” he whispered, leaning his forehead against her and closing his eyes. “I wish I could’ve been there for you.”
“This kind of makes up for all those times,” she assured him.
He pulled her into a hug. She leaned her head against his chest, facing the window as she did so. Kissing her head, he followed her line of sight.
A shooting star flew by.
He chuckled back. “Hey,” he then went on, “why…?” It was a bit odd, even for him, to be wishing on airplanes.
“We should make do with what we have,” she explained with a shrug. “Shooting stars aren’t easy to come by. And even when they do, we don’t always catch them.”
Jooyeon closed her eyes, snuggling even closer to Donghae.
She silently thanked Taeyeon, Tiffany and Kyuhyun for knocking some sense into her. They were right, as painful and as shameful as it was to admit. She had been settling all her life and was about to do so when she got together with Kyuhyun.
No more settling for her. No more wishing on airplanes.