airplanewishes | 5, 6, 7, 8! [Kris/Chen]

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5, 6, 7, 8! [Kris/Chen]

5, 6, 7, 8!
EXO | Kris/Chen | G | 1,892w
Crack, Fluff
"I don't know what you've been told, Kim Jongdae is good as gold."

Warnings: (highlight) cross-dressing, second-hand embarrassment

5, 6, 7, 8!

Yixing stares as Kris preens in front of the gym's bathroom mirror. He glances at his watch because they've been in there for more than 15 minutes, which means that practice has been delayed for just about 20 minutes.

"Are you done?" Yixing sighs insufferably.

Kris shoots him a look. "You can never have enough time to make yourself look good," he tells him haughtily, running another brushstroke through his hair, making sure that his pink and red ribbon is perfectly tied.

"Well can you tell me what time you'll be done?" Yixing rolls his eyes, pulling at his own hair ribbons and flattening his hands on his pink and red cheerleading uniform. "Just so I can tell the team when we'll start cheerleading practice this afternoon. Because, you know, you're team captain."

"Is the basketball team out yet?" Kris asks, peering through the bathroom doorway.

Yixing makes a face. "I knew this was about him," he grumbles, shaking his head. "It's not like he's forgotten about you, Kris. Or about that thing with you doing three cartwheels in the middle of a game just as he was about to do a three-point shot."

"Semester break can do things to people!" Kris hisses at him. "He could've started dating someone new or--"

"He's not," Yixing drawls, already bored.

"But what if! WHAT IF!" Kris is practically hysterical at this point so Yixing does the only thing he can think of and slaps him. Kris just shrieks even more because now there's a red handprint on his right cheek.

"Your cheek is now rosy, BIG DEAL!" Yixing firmly grabs onto his arm and drags him out of the bathroom. "We have a practice to run!"

-

Kris is moping about his red cheek when the basketball team comes out of the lockers, led by their team captain Kim Jongdae.

Kris immediately stands up and does his stretches, making sure to emphasize his s-line and the perfectness of his smooth legs. He's bending downwards when there's a tap on his ass. He straightens up, affronted.

"Hey there cutie," Lu Han wiggles his eyebrows up and down at him, biting his lip as he checks out all of Kris.

"How dare you!" Kris says, raising a hand to slap him, but Yixing stops him.

Yixing tuts, wiggling at finger at his face. "You can't touch him if he can't touch you," he simply states, exchanging a smile with Lu Han, who smirks at him.

"Traitor," Kris huffs and turns away. His face then breaks into a smile when he sees Jongdae walking up behind Lu Han. "Hi Jongdae," he breathes dreamily, putting both his hands on his chest as he bats his eyelashes at him.

"Hey Kris," Jongdae nods at him then puts an arm around Lu Han. "Are you done flirting or can we get started?"

Lu Han winks at Yixing, who blushes, as they walk back in the middle of the court. Kyungsoo, Junmyeon and Baekhyun joins then and gets ready to start drills.

Kris, with renewed energy because Jongdae had smiled and had greeted him and had SAID HIS NAME using his gorgeous lips, turns towards the squad and claps his hand. "Today, you're going to watch me do some new cheers!" he cheerfully informs them.

"Just watch?" Minseok raises an eyebrow in confusion.

"Just watch," Kris confirms with a resolute nod.

"O...kay," Chanyeol agrees and shrugs when he and Sehun exchange a dubious look.

Kris turns and faces the court, where the basketball team has started with their skirmishes. Kris raises both pom-poms in the air in starting position then he beams with all his might and starts the cheer.

"Kim Jongdae is number one! We're gonna rock and roll 'til the day is done!" Kris shouts, his deep voice booming across the court. He does a high kick and split kick and waves his pom-poms afterwards.

There is silence in the court as everyone, including the basketball team, has frozen in their movements. Kyungsoo is on the floor from when he tripped over Baekhyun, wide eyes wider than ever. Junmyeon’s face is a mixture of amusement and disgust, while Lu Han is laughing unabashedly.

Tao shifts in his seat, tugging on his skirt. "Uh, I don't think that's--"

"No talking," Kris shuts him up, his eyes on Jongdae, who has just lifted his head to meet his gaze. Kris holds his breath until Jongdae forms a smile and then a chuckle. After which, he claps his hands and orders the team to go back to practice. Kris is shitting rainbows by this point so he continues.

"I don't know what you've been told, Kim Jongdae is good as gold. Kim Jongdae is the best, we cheer loudest than the rest!" The cheer is perfect because Kris has practiced this so much that he can do the cheer and the dance in his sleep.

Yixing buries his face in his hands, while Jongin coughs.

"I didn't know our school name has been changed into Kim Jongdae," Jongin comments.

"Shut up," Sehun snaps. "This is ridiculous." He shoves Yixing. "Do something about this!"

"Who rocks the house? I said Kim Jongdae rocks the house! And when Kim Jongdae rocks the house, he rocks it all the way down!"

"That's so suggestive!" Minseok complains. "We can't use that cheer!"

"Well, it isn't really for our school team?" Yixing tries to pacify them and save whatever dignity Kris might still possess. "It's a Kim Jongdae cheer."

"Yeah, and I hear that Jongdae really does rock the house all the way down," Chanyeol shares, wiggling his eyebrows up and down. "If you know what I mean."

"I should quit," Sehun sighs exasperatedly.

"Kim Jongdae, I can do karate. Kim Jongdae, I can move my body. ("Can he?" Jongin interestedly asks Sehun, who slaps his face.) Kim Jongdae, oops I'm sorry. To the front!" Kris claps twice. "To the back!" He claps two times more. "To the side, to the side, let me see that butterfly! 5 6 7 8, let me see that booty shake!"

Sehun stands up and is in the middle of jumping Kris to the ground when Yixing grabs his skirt and pulls him back down on the bleachers. Jongin catches Sehun and wraps his arms around him as he waves indiscreetly at Kyungsoo, who coughs and turns red.

"Kris," Yixing grabs Kris and shakes him violently. "You are not Kim Jongdae's cheerleader. We're the school's cheerleading team and you're team captain and--"

"Do you think it worked?" Kris asks, allowing himself to be manhandled, eyes bright.

"What?" Yixing blinks.

"Do you think he noticed me?" Kris giggles, glancing at Jongdae, who's still laughing.

"Well he definitely noticed you alright," Minseok dryly comments.

“Everyone noticed,” Sehun wants to scream. “It’s not everyday you get a personal cheerleader and a personal cheer and a huge team captain jumping up and down in splits.”

“At least I don’t hurt the spotters during lifts because my bones don’t injure people,” Kris pokes his tongue out at him.

“Okay children, that’s enough,” Yixing bares his teeth at them. He turns to Kris. “He noticed and yes, maybe he will ask you out. They were… interesting cheers.”

"Great!" Kris claps his hands. "I have another cheer!"

"NO!" the squad choruses.

-

Kris sighs for the hundredth time as he packs his clothes into his gym bag. He'd done about three more cheers even when his team members protested just to make sure that Jongdae noticed him. But he didn't. Because after practice, Jongdae just followed his teammates into the locker room, shoving them when they teased him to Kris.

"Stop sighing or I'm going to sock you," Yixing growls.

"But I learned all those cheers. I practice the whole break," Kris whines. "I practically didn't go on vacation because I was working so hard on it just so he'll notice me and finally ask me out." He pouts, which Yixing finds very disturbing.

Yixing pinches the bridge of his nose. "Why can't you be a normal person and just tell him that you like him?"

Kris' eyes widen and he shakes his head. "I can't do that! Guys should do the asking out in relationship!" he tells him seriously.

Yixing stares at him. "You're a guy."

"But I'm the cheerleader!" Kris points at himself. "He's the basketball star. He should be doing the asking out."

"You look more manly than him okay! He’s like a ballerina. So man up!" Sehun yells from the showers. "ASK. HIM. OUT. To free us from the misery of your awful and overly sexual cheers!"

"Hey, it wasn't that bad." Now Kris looks really hurt and Yixing feels his irritation floating away.

"Look," Yixing sighs, hating himself because his heart softens too easily when it comes to Kris. "He's noticed you, that's for sure. You should just... let nature run its course. He'll ask you out."

"Are you sure?" Kris bats his eyelashes at him in hope.

"Yes," Yixing says. "Now can we stop talking about this and go home? I have a ton of homework."

"Okay," Kris cheers. He waves at the rest of the squad. "Bye guys! Practice again tomorrow!" He ignores the groans as he and Yixing walk out of the locker room.

-

Kris is opening his car after having said goodbye to Yixing, who has a sudden date with Lu Han, when there's a tap on his shoulder. He turns around and takes a surprised step backwards, his back hitting the car. Jongdae is standing there, freshly showered and looking very handsome in snug jeans and his dark red varsity jacket.

"Whoa," Jongdae raises his hands in front of him to show he doesn't mean any harm.

"What are you doing here?" Kris asks breathily, fisting his shirt because of nervousness. He may be head cheerleader, but head cheerleader and the basketball team captain barely had any interactions for some reason. Or maybe because Kris is a wimp, who only managed to express how he feels about the team captain earlier and through cheers, too.

"I was hoping to catch you after practice, but you were gone when I came out," Jongdae explains coolly. Kris merely blinks at him. Jongdae chuckles. "Those were some really great cheers."

Kris' eyes brighten. "Oh you liked them?" He starts clapping his hands. "Who rocks the house? I said Kim Jongdae rocks the house! And when Kim Jongdae rocks the house, he rocks it all the way down!"

Jongdae grabs his hands to stop him from clapping and from doing any more cheers. "I did," he laughs after his face goes through
shock and embarrassment. He clears his throat and smiles shyly. "And I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner with me."

Kris stares at him for a second before positively beaming. "Kim Jongdae is number one! We're gonna rock and roll 'til the day is done!" he cheers brightly.

"That's a yes?" Jongdae asks uncertainly and nervously.

"YES!" Kris claps.

"Great! I'll pick you up at seven then," Jongdae grins at him.

"Bye," Kris waves and fights the urge to do some jumping splits.

-

"So..." Jongdae asks in the middle of eating his pasta. "How exactly can you move your body?"

Kris flutters his lashes at him. "Oh wouldn't you like to find out."

Author's Notes:
I really don't know how to write crack so I apologize. But, um, I tried? This was a prompt from seoulfulness and I couldn't pass it up because... cheerleader Kris crushing over basketball team captain Kim Jongdae. How can I not write that!

Yep, cheerleaders are the tall kids, basketball players the short kids. :))

Um, this is severely un-beta'd. More of a writing exercise more than anything because I've been in a slump these past few days. >< So, um, yeah, I'm just sorry for the images here.

Oh and the cheers are courtesy of Google. I wish I was that creative. ><

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

o m g wait taking this spot I WILL BE BACK WHEN REAL LIFE RESPONSIBILITIES STOP BITCHING AT ME

FRANCES WHAT IS THIS. CHEERLEADER!WUFAN IS ABSOLUTELY DISTURBING BUT HILARIOUSLY SO.
HELP. MY MIND'S GETTING SEVERELY SCARRED TRYING TO IMAGINE HIM DO ALL THOSE CHEERS ;A;

(Oh, if I choke on my food and die, I'm blaming this on you.)

And this is how you get people to see Kris in another light other than godly. I really can't look at him anymore without thinking about this and it's just tragic.

Blame away. I like being responsible for cheerleader Kris! READY? OKAY! /claps/

It doesn't help that I already want to punch him badly without him being obnoxiously loud like in your fic, Frances. Now my desire to punch his face is a hundred times stronger because of all that second-hand embarrassment, so that I can make him shut up lmao.

Still crying.

I think there are other ways you can make him shut up, but okay. ;)

By going down on him? That'll only make him go louder.

What is this? I cracked up throughout it. Kris in a cheerleading outfit and those cheers omg.
I love this, it made my day, thank you for that.

This is me being ridiculous and Kris being ridiculous. The two combined obviously produces waves of awkwardness and second-hand embarrassment.

But yay it made your day so I'm glad! :D

SPOT BECAUSE

aw damn, lynn beat me to it. STILL SPOTTING

SCREAMS AT YOU this was hilarious omfg

one does not simply get over cheerleader!kris and jongdae the friggin basketball team captain. this is as epic as a story can get. i love how the midgets of exo make up the basketball team x)

all the secondhand embarrassment, oh dear god. TOTALLY WORTH IT THOUGH.

i would say i love you, but my stomach kinda hurts from laughing and i blame you for that.

I hope people never get over cheerleader Kris and team captain Jongdae because awesomeness. HAHAHAHA!!! Yes, because the midgets of EXO are the cool kids and the hotshots in school.

I'm glad having second-hand embarrassment was worth it for you. It's all at Kris' expense right? LOL.

Aww I know you love me anyway. ;)) Thank you for reading!

i was cringing the whole time at the thought of duizhang being like this. OTL. IT'S LIKE SECONDHAND EMBARRASSMENT THROUGH A FIC.
but omg so funny

This made me laugh so much and I'm so sorry for making you cringe the entire time. But I'm relieved that it made you laugh at least. Thank you for reading! :D

I CAN'T HAHAHAHHA FRANCES WHY WHY!!!!

YES WE CAN! KRIS SAYS WE CAN! ;)

O GOD WHYYYYY
/so much secondhand embarrassment for kris rn/
on a side note who could blame him, chenchen is wonderful ♥♥♥
oh squad I feel your pain ~~should we all kiss and feel better?~~

LMAO. I know, I'm sorry to you but I really am not sorry for Kris because, well. Cheerleader Kris. Hahahaha! Just the thought is enough to get me out of a bad mood. :))

Chen is forever wonderful. ;)

Are you suggesting an orgy? HAHA!

Thank you for reading! :D

this is definitely an au though LOL I highly doubt kris would do this irl sober
/splutters/ what on earth are you talking abouttt

Whoops. Forget I said anything. >

THIS FIC IS GOOD AS GOLD

THANK YOU! /does a high kick

That gif is priceless!!! :D

OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMF GMSOFMSFMLKSA CRYING OMGGGKSLSFNL

this is so hilarious. no this is HIFUCKINGLARIOUS OMGGGGGGGGGGGGG A+ NOONA. AWESOME.

That is exactly how I felt while writing this. I looked absolutely ridiculous because I kept on bursting into laughter by myself. And I was writing in a cafe. ><

Thank you so much, dear!! :D

KRIS CHEERLEADING IN UNIFORM?!!!
HAHAHAHAHA I dies. I couldn't stop laughing while reading this lollll

Can you imagine it? Be pretty hot! Hahaha!

Thank you for reading! :)

I'm so disgustingly embarrassed BECAUSE I CAN SORT OF SEE KRIS DOING THIS, EPSECIALLY WITH THE WAY HE'S BEEN ACTING THESE LAST SEVERAL WEEKS.

Omg secondhand embarrassment is so strong right now, blushing in mortification >/////

Disgustingly embarrassed is just about the right reaction for this mess. :)) But yes, I agree, he has been going soft. Hmmm.

I'm sorry for making you mortified. :)))))) But thank you for reading!!

oh my god i am going to sob this is so hilarious. my face hurts from laughing so much. christ.

I'm happy it made you laugh. I still laugh just thinking about it tbh. Kris is ridiculous. ><

(oh and hi, i'm a fan :D)

kris in a skirt though. i would pay to see that!

and hello!

Mini-skirt. :))

I read a lot of your stuff. They're really good. :D

i could stand for it to be shorter

ah, thank you and i'm glad that you like it then!

Please let me love you ;____;

/hugs you/

Thank you for reading! :D

omg i still cannot with kris here XD i read this on seoulfulness and commented there too (i'm op btw) and just wanted to say great job again. great job!!

Hi!!!! Omg I'm really relieved that you liked it! Sometimes I get carried away with writing that I forget about the prompts and such. I'm glad you enjoyed this. The prompt was awesome! ;)

AHAHAHAHAHAHA

PISS

KRIS.

~~we would like to know~~

Your comment is A+. Hahahaha!

What would you like to know? ;)

I AM DYING I REPEAT DYING

actually no, dead by the time i reached "To the side, to the side, let me see that butterfly! 5 6 7 8, let me see that booty shake!" BUTTERFLY JESUS
THIS IS SO INHUMANE IT HURTS
MY JAW AND RESPIRATORY TRACT WERE PROTESTING IDEk HOW TO COMFORT BOTH SIMULTANEOUSLY

and when kris started cheering again at the part jongdae tapped him I SNEEZED-LAUGHED AT THE SAME TIME I AM FCKING DYING
YOU DARESAY YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO FIC CRACK WHEN YOU'RE THIS UNBELIEVABLE?? this was really fun <3

(my first time ever commenting ~~i suck lol~~ so anw i just read one of your seho fics and now on to my second nvbndsf love them ; u ;)

I apologize profusely to your jaw and respiratory tract. ><

You know, I still end up laughing when I remember Kris doing cheers while Jongdae was asking me out. He's so ridiculously stupid, like, I don't even know why Jongdae still wanted to go out with him after that. :)))) Yes, I suck at crack, but I guess this time I kind of succeeded in ruining Kris' image and I guess that's funny. Hahaha!

Thank you for reading and for taking the time to comment! :D

LOL WHAT IS THIS EVEN
omg what Kris just stop it
stooop
I can't ~~breathe~~
out of curiosity, what is up with all these EXO-cheerleader fics I see ~~not that I don't LOVE them, they're some funny shit~~ and whyyy are they always wearing girls' uniforms? The male cheerleaders at my school wear pants and stuff
~~actually I just imagined Kris wearing a guys' uniform and it's almost more embarrassing than a skirt~~
lolwhut
i just cant
i love exo's cheerleader verses
and I love Krischen so much
OGOD I DIDN'T EXPRESS MY LOVE FOR YOU BECAUSE YOU WROTE KRISCHEN AND THEY CONTROL ALL OF MY FEELINGS
so um
<3
kris is so embarrassing

Edited 2012-12-07 23:25 (UTC)

I don't really know what this is either. Kris is just stupid and I want to strangle him. :))

There are other EXO cheerleader fics?! Where!!! Because it's funny seeing them in girls' uniforms. Hahaha!

Thank you for reading!! ♥

omg. OMG. my face breaks. this is hilarious okay. ahahhahahhah

LOL thank you! :D

hahaha this is the best Frances! Cheerleader Kris with manly legs lmao.

*gasps* WHAT DID YOU DO?!

YOU MURDERED WU YIFAN. *judging you*

OH GOD. OH GOD. MY LIFE. *dies*

ASDFGHJKL *screams*

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

5, 6, 7, 8! [Kris/Chen]

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